And Now A Lesson In Eisegesis

A New Testament scholar is proposing the idea that one (or more) of the Magi was a woman!

This just goes to show that you can make the Bible say whatever you want it to. Hence the necessity for an authoritative guide in its interpretation. The irony is that the scholar advancing the theory is a Catholic (not that the Magisterium has spoken authoritatively on the gender of the Magi--who would have thought it would need to?!) The last line of the article suggests that the scholar's ex-(eis)-egesis is influenced by ecumenism. I didn't know that women were a separate denomination!

Elton John And The Historical Jesus

The Jesus Seminar isn't the only one who's conception of Christ amazingly resembles themselves. Elton John (who no doubt will request membership in the Seminar) has joined the Quest for the Historical Jesus and his surprising conclusion is that Jesus was....

.....wait for it....

....GAY!

Shocker, I know. And what does this newest member of the Quest base his extraordinary insight upon (I mean, other than Elton being gay himself)? Well, He was compassionate.

How did we not see this before?! We should have known that only a gay man can be compassionate. Why, Jesus was so compassionate, any talk of his being a heterosexual must be ruled out from the very start. Theologians who argue that Christ was straight are obviously biased and projecting their own straightness upon the Historical Jesus.

I wouldn't be surprised if Elton is contacted by the retired Episcopal bishop of Newark, New Jersey, John Shelby Spong, in the near future looking to co-author a book on the subject.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...........