Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Whether Or Not The Color Of Lemon-Lime Gatorade Can Be Classified As Green?

Wow, the more I read the Summa, the more Aquinas amazes me. He thought of everything!:

Objection 1. It would seem that Lemon-Lime Gatorade is in fact yellow, for it contains the dye Yellow 5.

Objection 2. It would seem that since lemon and lime are proper to yellow and green respectively, and that since green is a combination of both yellow and blue, that Lemon-Lime Gatorade is yellow, since it is predominately yellow.

On the contrary, the accidents of the color of Lemon-Lime Gatorade are interpreted differently by various people, in order to distinguish its form, which is made most manifest in the accident of taste. The variations in interpretation however cannot all be legitimate, for Lemon-Lime Gatorade is not a supernatural drink like the precious blood, in which the accidents are a veil. Therefore since the substance is absolute the accidents must be absolute, and therefore any variation is actually the effect of original sin which causes skewed judgments.

I answer that, green is God’s favorite color, (Genesis 1:11-12, 8:11, 9:3, 30:37, 41:3-18, Exodus 9:31, 10:15, Leviticus 2:14, etc.) and he hates yellow for it is an unclean pagan color. (Leviticus 13:30-36, Proverbs 23:31, Jerimas 30:6) Since there is no question that Lemon-Lime Gatorade is good, it must necessarily be green, unlike Lemonade Gatorade, which is an abomination against the Almighty. However since no offical judgment on this matter from the Holy See has been made I must confess that the question can still be disputed, and I submit absolutely to the future judgments of the Church's Infallible Magisterium.

Reply to objection 1. Yellow 5 is only added to mask the true color of the Gatorade which is in fact dark green, and the dye merely weakens the intensity of the greenness.

Reply to objection 2. green must necessarily be the predominate color, since Yellow dye was used for psychological reasons, so that people would not think they were drinking a pure lime drink.

Hat tip to Alex Cooper

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